Querying literary agents, letting family read your work and why lockdown has gutted my creativity

In the run-up to my website’s first birthday (which is in May), I thought now would be an optimal time to publish a writing update.

As per usual, I have left it a while since my last update which means there are a lot of changes to expand upon, apart from lockdown. That is still, unfortunately, very much an unchanged, unaltered element in my life. Please allow me a second while I loudly and audibly sigh.

Anyway; A Better Crown is officially going out to literary agents. I have had my first two rejections (thank you to Eve West and the guys at AM Heath, you pulled that plaster off quickly and I commend you for it) and I’m trying to take on as many new readers, as-well-as reams of feedback, as possible, while A Better Crown is touted around the many professionals of the publishing world. I’m still making minor changes here and there on the manuscript, mainly in relation to feedback from beta readers, but the book, its plot and its characters are in much the same shape as they were last year which is a real point of pride for me; I have a solid book there, no major edits required.

Talking of queries, I did actually get an offer from a well-known vanity publishing agency. Unsurprisingly I did not put pen to paper on that one. I’ve promised myself to never go down that road, if I’m going to do this I’m doing it the right way. I’m sticking, rather resolutely, to querying agents.

Querying agents is, perhaps, the most peculiar part of this whole writing process. There are so many stumbling blocks for my submission to fall over. My work could have been immediately thrown into the delete folder of an email tray like a bad CV or an unwarranted phishing message, the synopsis could have been too dull for the agent to get through, or, at any point between the start of page one and the end of chapter three (my submission sample), the agent could have just stood up and said: “This is not for me.” It’s a strange paradigm, to know that there are so many varied aspects of your work that agents could take umbrage with but hey, if it was easy it wouldn’t be worth it.

There is also this strange time cloud hanging over me with each submission: how long does it take to read my three chapters? If it takes longer for them to reject me is that better? Does it mean my idea is good but my writing is crap? There are so many varying dimensions to this game. I will just have to keep you informed as the replies, and rejections, rumble in.

While I’ve been seeking out beta readers two very special people in my life have volunteered themselves to cast a beady eye over A Better Crown; my parents. I’m not averse to letting them read my work at all, in fact, I would say that my parents are my most reliable critics, full stop. Even when I was a kid they were brutally honest when it came to feedback and I know a compliment or a positive review from them is worth the paper it’s written on. What’s more; my dad is a huge fantasy reader and someone who almost single-handedly got me into the genre. All my other beta readers are younger and some aren’t even fantasy fans, to get his eyes on the manuscript would be key to rubber-stamping its legitimacy as “a good book.” There is just one splinter of doubt when it comes to letting my parents in on this: if they don’t like A Better Crown it would hurt more than a thousand agent rejection letters. It’s something I will have to mull over.

In other news: I have published two more short stories: The Ramsgate Guide To Obituary Writing and When Life Was Simpler. I’m confident in saying that both are my best novellas to date. The former is something I have been working on for two years now, a project which began on the Notes app of my iPhone before getting some much-needed embellishment and expansion. I’m really proud of it and, honestly, I half wish I had kept hold of the story and submitted it to more competitions. But I have one comp rule: if the story doesn’t get nominated I review it, edit it and publish it on here and then move on; always trying to improve. I’m quite fond of When Life Was Simpler too, it’s the first time I’ve channelled any kind of relationship frustration into a piece of work, the word cathartic doesn’t do it justice.

I have another short story ready to be released next month; it is titled: After The First Death. This is an exceptionally personal piece, influenced by loss and grief. I’ve become more apt at drawing on experience and feeling, using those waymarkers of emotion and putting them into my work. But I must stress that none of my novellas are purely autobiographical, although this next story means a lot to me because of the real-life experiences which influenced it.

Unfortunately, once After The First Death is published, I am dry. I have hit the worst writer’s block I have ever experienced and I am blaming lockdown entirely. Coronavirus has taken everything and now it wants my art too. Will it ever end? During the last lockdown, I have written some absolute stinkers when it comes to short stories (I mean truly bad shit that I will probably consign to some dark corner of my laptop forever) and I have stalled on getting to grips with the sequel to A Better Crown. I’m praying that the end of lockdown will bring some changes to my creativity and peace of mind, I need the hustle and bustle of life in order to write, and that is still on pause at the moment.

So what’s next? I will continue to send out query letters, I will continue receiving feedback and I will keep my fingers crossed in the hope that I get a full manuscript request. I will find some inspiration in order to get back on the short story trail, I have some sordid ideas, and some nicer ones, I just need to get them onto paper. Easier said than done sometimes. When it comes to the A Better Crown sequel, I have decided on a few more details but failed to add any meat to the bones. I have a synopsis (a loose one) I have an ending (looser) and I know who lives, who dies and what is left standing at the novel’s end (that’s set in stone). I also have a name: Glory Before Death, which incorporates a section of one of my favourite quotes from the Seamus Heaney translation of the Saxon epic Beowulf: “For every one of us, living in this world means waiting for our end. Let whoever can, win glory before death.”

So there you have it: I’m struggling to write, I’m waiting for lockdown to end and I’m poking a lot of literary agents with a fantasy manuscript.

I hope things change when restrictions are finally lifted for good.

In the meantime: stay strong, keep reading, keep writing.